Emmy Awards Well Played Carpet: Tina Fey

Tina Fey used to wear a lot of black: black satin, black strapless, black long and black knee-length, black one-shoulder, blackity black black blackblack. Then she departed at the Globes this year and things went haywire with the maligned Zac Posen (which added white to the mix), or the blue stripe, and the jumpsuit, my God, the JUMPSUIT. She totally Lemoned that one. Anyway, we started to think maybe the days of all black all the time were actually halcyon times to be remembered in rosy colored soft-focus while we sip glasses of pink lemonade and dangle our feet off the pier.


But aha, this, I like.

I mean, it's a little nutty. All those shapes remind me of hieroglyphs. But instead of being ancient carvings by an Egyptian soothsayer warning us that a bespectacled comedic genius would sear our retinas with a jumpsuit that has built-in Depends, these appear to suggest that Foxy Lady With Sass And Great Makeup Will Do Funny Things Tonight In Gown That Flaunts Her Usually Hidden Curves -- And Also, We Will See Almost More Of Betty White Than of Jimmy Fallon, Even Though He's Hosting. Hey, look, that soothsayer had a lot of visions to get across. No wonder she needed a train. Thank God the ramblings of a dead man look good on her.

Emmy Awards Well Played Carpet: Elisabeth Moss

I feel like the last three years have consisted solely of Elisabeth Moss here showing up places looking droopy, and then me making jokes about the terrible bangs they give her on Mad Men. But finally, Peggy Olsen's hair is looking decent AND Elisabeth Moss manages to look like someone has finally taught her about the magic of appropriate undergarments with formal gowns. Honestly, this dress is hard to pull off without looking washed out, or like you've gone out wrapped in your bed sheets, and yet she's done both. She looks SO MUCH BETTER than we've EVER seen her before and it all just makes me want to hug her. What better time is there to show up looking great than right after you've broken up with your husband, who has then turned around and taken up with a girl much, much younger than he is? None. No better time. So I hope there are many high-fives being exchanged between Team Moss today, because they earned it.

She looked cute at the EW party this weekend too;

Emmy Awards Well Played: Archie Panjabi

I want to hang out with these three:

Is Alan Cumming wearing an ascot and slippers embossed with a skull and crossbones? I treasure him. I want to make him one of our GFY Interns, except I worry that he and Intern George might get embroiled in a Prank War and then we'd never get anything filed again. Also: I love how happy Matt Czuchry looks here. It's about as thrilled as I looked when Archie Panjabi there in the middle won her Emmy last night for The Good Wife. She is SO AWESOME on that show -- she's both ass-kicking AND inscrutable, plus she wears really good boots often -- but I didn't think she had a chance in hell to win it. In fact, when her name was called, everyone in the room shrieked a little bit with glee. I love her. But we can't really see her dress here, so let's take a closer look:

Emmy Awards Well Played Carpet: Emily Blunt

This is always how I wanted Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck to act. For whatever reason I love the idea of Garfleck, and am always so bummed out when they only ever look bored and surly together, or refuse to walk the red carpet as a couple, as if they think maybe we still haven't figured out that they're married. Sigh.
Conversely, there's this pair:

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski did some solo photos, and she hung back off the dais while he did his E! interview so he could have his moment, but they also posed together a bunch and seem genuinely proud and happy to be seen in public on each other's arms. And for a second I thought he even matched his bow tie to her dress, which is sort of sweet and yet also over the top, but in the end I think his is actually gray. I don't even care, though. They're so cute together. I love a couple that isn't afraid to be excited about each other, ahem, Garfleck.
And I think I love her dress even without the enthusiastic and cute man-candy on her arm:

Going Fug Distance/Comparatively Well Played, Drew Barrymore

Fug file:metallics

Bless you, Drew Barrymore. While the rest of this town has hunkered down with a colon cleanse -- and thus, hopefully Twitter -- in preparation for the Emmys, Drew is partying it up between events for Going The Distance. After yesterday's unholy hybrid of Pocahontas and Stevie Nicks and that eccentric Fraulein Jacko stew, we're now getting this:
 

I think this is actually a cocktail made from the juices of every single cast member of Beverly Hills, 90210. Seriously, it's a piece of everyone: Donna Martin, David Silver (he did love big shirts... and hats), a bit of Brenda, some Dylan at his worst, for sure Emily Valentine, probably some of Kelly while she was on drugs and/or recovering from being burned in a house fire, definitely a touch of Clare Arnold... and dude, you know Steve Sanders dreamed of matching blue suede shoes to his fedora. I even feel like there are flashes of Sue Scanlon, a.k.a. My Brother Scott Shot Himself In The Face So I Decided To Arrive At School Dressed Like Laura Ingalls And Then Go To The Bathroom And Change Into An Outfit Befitting The Instructor Of Jazzercise For Hos.

And this:

That is a combination of Juliette Lewis and... well, actually, Juliette Lewis, possibly with an assist from Amy Winehouse's hair clippings.

Contrast all this to what Drew whipped out for the actual premiere of her movie:Continue reading Going Fug Distance/Comparatively Well Played, Drew Barrymore.

Well Played, Malin Akerman

The longer I look at this dress, the more I'm pretty sure I've written about it before. Or Heather has.

But I can't remember who wore it, or what we thought about it at the time. I used to have a great memory for these things, but it turns out one human brain can not, in fact, contain the details from every episode from 90210 AND remember everything everyone has ever worn on the red carpet over the last five years. This must be what it's like to get old. I thought the gray hairs were the most egregious offenders, but apparently no longer being the human version of the Who Wore It Best feature is also in the running. ANYWAY: regardless, I like this now, on her, even if it does look like she got into a paintball fight. It's a very CHIC and flattering paintball fight, which is really all you can ask for, anyway. Right? Right. Now, off to find that ginkgo biloba.

Well Played, Considering the Usual: Pamela Anderson

But have you forgotten what she usually wears? You guys! PROGRESS IS PROGESS even if it does take the form of the jumpsuit. Let's all realize that small hills make big mountains ....eventually...or something like that. Whatever, I'm not on Aphorism Duty today. You smell what I'm cooking. THINGS COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE.