"Oh, whatever, look at me all you want -- this is totally all a dream. I would never actually chop off my hair with a weedwhacker, I would never be allowed to run around town looking like I hadn't slept in three days, and I would TOTALLY never follow up an episode of Gossip Girl where my character tricked Vanessa into wearing a see-through dress by wearing a semi-transparent one myself. Like, I'm SO SURE. As IF I would let people see through to where my tights stop and my torso starts. You people are hilarious. There's no way I am conscious right now. I just fell asleep doing my Algebra homework and had a nightmare about getting my hair caught in the disposal and my subconscious is turning it into a 25-part series where I had to learn from my mistake and grow out my hair, and... well, although, I will grant you that this has been a really LONG dream... I am going to have some wicked morning breath when I wake up. But I will wake up. Because that is THE ONLY WAY this makes sense. Now pass me some mouthwash."
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