Why, you ask? Because my intervention WORKED.
Look how hot Alicia Keys is! Yes, she could use a meatball or three, but some of that might just be the angle of the photograph. But please, celebrate with me: She's wearing a dress that FITS. In an awesome color. With simple but striking makeup. And I want her purse.
But wait. It gets better. Because unlike other awards shows, where she started out strong and then climbed through the looking glass, here Alicia showed actual restraint:
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