Y'ALL HELLO!
[Photo: Splash]
What a beautiful day, y'all. I'm wearing white like the bride-to-be that I am (no I'm not) (yes, I am) (actually, I'm not but you didn't hear it from me, Star magazine, so run that story about how I'm marrying my agent if y'all want!) and if I WAS getting married, which I'm not -- although I could be, because remember that time I married George Costanza for 20 minutes? That was fun, although not for my mom -- this is totally what I'd wear because it's like November Rain and Axl Rose might show up and play the piano while I walked down the aisle.
ANYWAY, I'm just out shopping in my Sally Jesse Raphael glasses like a regular person, here on Rodeo Drive like a regular person, making my bodyguard carry my Bebe bags like a regular person, just like a regular person. In fact, I feel really, really really regular because it's been like a month since I was in any magazine at all and it's like all y'all forgot that I am Britney Spears and crazy shit could happen to me at any minute. Like, you know how Kevin is all on Celebrity Fit Club right now with his ex-wife? What if I burst onto set and started screaming that he's still real fat and I LOVE IT and I hope he NEVER LOSES ANY WEIGHT EVER and I have to be escorted away by security? What if I forget to wear pants again? What if I kidnap Justin (which I would never because I don't know where he's living right now)? What if I accidentally injure myself now that I've started combing my hair with a spork? I'M STILL HAPPENING, PEOPLE! Aren't y'all excited to see me in my little spring get-up that looks kinda like lingerie but IS NOT? Aren't y'all happy that I look like I'm UNPREDICTABLE still but not mentally ill or whatever, because that's the combination that my management teams says works best for me as a celebrity? WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE AGAIN?
Just a suggestion!!
LOVE
BRITNEY
PS HAPPY EASTER! I love to eat the heads off chocolate bunnies.
[Photo: Splash]
What a beautiful day, y'all. I'm wearing white like the bride-to-be that I am (no I'm not) (yes, I am) (actually, I'm not but you didn't hear it from me, Star magazine, so run that story about how I'm marrying my agent if y'all want!) and if I WAS getting married, which I'm not -- although I could be, because remember that time I married George Costanza for 20 minutes? That was fun, although not for my mom -- this is totally what I'd wear because it's like November Rain and Axl Rose might show up and play the piano while I walked down the aisle.
ANYWAY, I'm just out shopping in my Sally Jesse Raphael glasses like a regular person, here on Rodeo Drive like a regular person, making my bodyguard carry my Bebe bags like a regular person, just like a regular person. In fact, I feel really, really really regular because it's been like a month since I was in any magazine at all and it's like all y'all forgot that I am Britney Spears and crazy shit could happen to me at any minute. Like, you know how Kevin is all on Celebrity Fit Club right now with his ex-wife? What if I burst onto set and started screaming that he's still real fat and I LOVE IT and I hope he NEVER LOSES ANY WEIGHT EVER and I have to be escorted away by security? What if I forget to wear pants again? What if I kidnap Justin (which I would never because I don't know where he's living right now)? What if I accidentally injure myself now that I've started combing my hair with a spork? I'M STILL HAPPENING, PEOPLE! Aren't y'all excited to see me in my little spring get-up that looks kinda like lingerie but IS NOT? Aren't y'all happy that I look like I'm UNPREDICTABLE still but not mentally ill or whatever, because that's the combination that my management teams says works best for me as a celebrity? WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE AGAIN?
Just a suggestion!!
LOVE
BRITNEY
PS HAPPY EASTER! I love to eat the heads off chocolate bunnies.
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