ABBIE CORNISH: Yep, still a serious actress. A SERIOUS ACTRESS. Not anyone's Other Woman.
GEOFFREY RUSH: Let's see. I can't look at Abbie, because I called her Kate the whole time we were shooting because someone told me she was Kate Bosworth and then someone ELSE told me she was Tom Cruise's wife and what the hell do I know...
CATE BLANCHETT: I'm just proud of my work!
ABBIE: But seriously, what is Cate doing down there? I'm here in a suit, and she's wearing, like, a sparkly denim bag with strips of shiny crap studded with a bunch of buttons. It's the worst thing I've ever seen. It's like that chick from Pretty In Pink discovered a new color palette before anyone could cut off her hands.
GEOFFREY: ... but I can't look at Blanchett either, because I am allergic to things that look like a three-year old made them in pre-school...
CATE: Yep! Proud of my work and my hair! Life is good!
ABBIE: This is making me so mad. I have ONE series of suspicious moments with Ryan Witherspoon or whatever his name was, and nobody will talk to me; she wears THAT thing and all anyone can say is, "She's so talented!" I seriously need an Oscar. That thing is a free pass.
GEOFFREY: I kind of miss being in the pirate movie. With Depp and Bloom, I never had to avert my eyes ANYWHERE.
CATE: Abbie looks pretty. Geoffrey's shirt makes me crave celery. I'm having a very pleasant day.
ABBIE: It's not even a LEAD ACTRESS Oscar, either, though, so it doesn't even COUNT. She's in, like, Marisa Tomei-land. Which is practically a made-up place.
GEOFFREY. My eyes hurt. I have nowhere to go. This is so awkward. I need a whiskey.
ABBIE: Maybe Cate really IS pregnant again. She kind of looks like it. And it would explain the tent dress. Does pregnancy make you blind, though? Because seriously, she has to be blind, right? How sad. Maybe I can play her in the movie. And win a REAL Oscar. IN A REAL DRESS. God, it'll be sweet.
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