Followers

The Burning Fug

 

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CHARLIZE: Hey, Stuart?

STUART: Yes, Charlize?

CHARLIZE: You know how they say couples who are together a long time start to look alike?

STUART: Yes, Charlize.

CHARLIZE: Well, you're doing it. Right now.

STUART: Oh yes, Charlize?

CHARLIZE: Yes. My lip-pursing sourpuss thing. You're doing it. And did you HAVE to wear a skull-and-crossbones shirt on the same day I'm wearing my lace-up pirate frock?

STUART: Yes, Charlize.

CHARLIZE: Even our skin is the same color. You've clearly been using my bronzer.

STUART: Yes, Charlize.

CHARLIZE: What's next? My flats? My lip gloss? My coif? I know I'm hot, but isn't this a little Single White Female-style extreme?

STUART: Yes, Charlize.

CHARLIZE: And is agreeing with me all the time part of your plan?

STUART: Yes, Charlize.

CHARLIZE: Well, here's one for you: Are you NEVER going to work in anything interesting again?

STUART: Yes, Charlize. ... Wait, what?

CHARLIZE: HA. Gotcha.

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